OK, OK. So I haven’t watched any films. I know I’ve been saying this for weeks and that, frankly, as someone who professes to love film, this is completely shameful behaviour. But honestly, I don’t think I can, in good conscience, say I watched John Wick when I fell asleep about forty minutes from the end. This isn’t intended as a criticism of John Wick, but really goes to show that I’m a complete chicken, violence scares me (even when it’s as beautifully choreographed as most of Keanu’s arse-kicking is in the film), and I was so comfortably hidden under a duvet that, yeah, I fell asleep. It was 2pm. I am almost 24. This isn’t really OK. I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT.
Thwarted in my attempts to revisit the film’s ending (this is what you get for not downloading things yourself), I turned instead to the stash of Netflix downloads that I had waiting for me for this week’s two-hour train ride home from London. This week, that happened to be about ten episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Reader, I watched them. I watched them so hard that I basically could only think about Brooklyn Nine-Nine until I finished the series – and now I’ve finally finished series three! FINALLY. It’s only taken me about half a year. It has to be said, though, that Brooklyn Nine-Nine works infinitely better in a binge – it’s easier to stick immersed in its tone when you’re pounding through episode after episode. It does seem that series three just isn’t as funny as the first two, though – although it isn’t without its moments of brilliance. When Terry reveals that he hates cats (and why he hates them) is another joyous opportunity to experience the comedy genius of Terry Crews, this time shouting at teeny tiny adorable kittens about how evil they are. Its transition into a show with actual plot at the end, though, surprised me, and I’m not sure how much I actually liked it (although, spoiler, this might just be because I want Jake and Amy to be Ben-and-Leslie-level happy forever and the final scene implies that this isn’t happening).
Speaking of other shows I’m revisiting after a long time, I dipped back into Crazy Ex-Girlfriend for a couple of episodes. I’ve actually been reading Den of Geek’s in-depth reviews of the second series and was prepared for most of the plot stuff I’ve come across, as well as the slight dip in quality from the first series – honestly, I think most of this down to the loss of Santino Fontana’s Greg, who was the show’s unintended centre and basically one humanising feature. Josh is awful, too, so I really, really thought he was going to end up being end game relationship material for Rebecca. This isn’t to be, though, and without Greg it’s sort of wasting away. This being said, it does have moments of being really entertaining – Rebecca’s showing signs of some self-awareness (admittedly only for it to all go up in flames), and that’s quite rewarding in itself – but otherwise, this is lacking a lot of the spark of the first series.
Riverdale, however, has properly hit its stride and now I find myself always waiting for it to be on – I’ve caught up with Netflix, and I now have to wait a whole week for a new episode. It’s like the days before on-demand TV, and it’s horrifying. The heightened teen drama/murder mystery has gone from being oddly cold to gleefully entertaining, with every single character getting their chance to shine in the teenage melodrama that surrounds them all. It’s like One Tree Hill, but somehow with MORE drama. I basically spend each episode prepared to gasp at every crazy thing that happens. Despite all this, though, every character does have something relatable about them in amongst all the ludicrousness, and I’ve become sucked in by it all and am now completely compelled by the central mystery. Who did kill Jason Blossom? So many characters have motive that it’s hard to keep track. Watching Riverdale right now is like appreciating the glory days when Revenge was really enjoyable trash. And I think Riverdale is technically much better.